LEAVING YOU…

I was listening to Kandi’s new song “Leave U” and the words started to sing to me and get me to thinking how often it is that we jeopardize our relationships once we get comfortable in them.  It’s so common that as we settle into our relationships that we find ourselves forgetting to do the things that we used to do when we first got together.  Relationships are as much about the little things as they are about the big things.  It’s easy to remember a birthday or some other symbolic holiday, but what about the little things that we appreciated so much about eachother that get lost in the daily grind?

Little things that you used to do for your man like come to bed without the scarf and baggy t-shirt, or the back rub you would give him when he got home from work.  Remember when you would stay up and wait for him to get home so that you can listen to him tell you about his day? Or how you would make his favorite meal for him just because.  How about when you would wash his hair and massage his scalp? There are certain things that you did for him that you may not be doing anymore now that you “have” him. Little do you know those very things were the things he fell in love with and craves for.

Guys,think about the things you did for her that you may not be paying so much attention to anymore.  When was the last time you took your girl on a spontaneous day trip like you used to while you were dating? Or when was the last time you held hands and walked and spent time enjoying each other? Whatever those “little things” are that aren’t being done now seem so significant when you don’t have them anymore.

Have you ever gotten to a place like in Kandi’s song and say to yourself, “I’m going to leave you for someone who is doing all of the things you USED to do?”

The truth is the things you did to get him/her are the things you need to continue to do in order to keep him/her.  When you start off a relationship you always put your best foot forward, however you don’t want to start off the relationship by setting the bar so high that it’s impossible for you to maintain.  It’s natural as things come up in life you get preoccupied with work, family and other personal obligations, but it’s a dangerous road to go down where you neglect to do the things that you did previously without regard and think that the person is just going to stay although they are completely unfulfilled.  They may stick it out for a while, however they are only trying to hold on long enough to give you a chance to get back to where you were…. if that place isn’t anywhere on the horizon you can kiss your relationship goodbye.

It’s such a mistake to let life and all of its obstacles take over so much so that you aren’t tending to home.  It needs to be a main priority for the two of you to get together, spend some quality time and it just be you, no matter what is going on outside.  That time that you spend with you other half should only be about the love that you have and reconnecting with that person.

A FEW IDEAS TO JUMP START YOUR RELATIONSHIP:

• Have a set date night Date night doesn’t have to always be about going out to a restaurant and spending money.  You can create an intimate setting at home where one of you cook or you can make it fun and cook a meal together.  Set the candles, play some soft music and turnoff all distractions so that it’s just the two of you enjoying one another’s company.
• Get a massage together Massages are such stress relievers that it can truly help you to leave all the outside cares behind and enjoy the peace and quiet of just being in each other’s company.  You can take a trip to a day spa or inquire about a masseuse coming to your home for a reasonable price.  I know it’s a recession so buy a massage kit and give each other massages, that works just as well and is also very sensual.
• Get a book of any genre that you both like and take turns reading it to each other.  A sexy story never hurts.
• Compliment each other regularly.  Tell each other how much you appreciate the things they do, or remind them how beautiful or handsome you think they are.

There are tons of things that you can do together to keep the flame glowing but the point is you have to put forth the effort.  The easiest thing to do that you know either one of you would appreciate is continue doing all of the things that you used to do and always find time to reconnect.  I believe this is crucial to long-lasting and satisfying relationships.

I hope that some of these ideas are used and works for you… I’m about to get started planning my next “date night” now!

Happy Dating,

MzCeo