Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Have you ever wondered how a man thinks? And why it’s so different from the way we women think? How can two people of the same species be so different and find it so hard to communicate? Well finally there is a man who has broken the “Playas Rule #1” and has let us women in on a few key secrets that make up a man and ways to understand them. 

For the last few days, whenever I’ve had the extra time, usually before bed, I’ve been reading Steve Harvey’s handbook “Act like a Lady, Think like a Man.”   In this book, Steve has laid out some common sense, practical skill sets when dealing with a man, whether you are trying to find one, keep one or just learn about them for future reference.  In his book, he has chapters named “What Drives Men,”  “The Three Things Every Man Needs: Support, Loyalty and the Cookie,” “First Things First, He Wants to Sleep with You,” and so on…

I found this book to be very interesting because a lot of the “secrets” most of us know but most of us forget them or take it  for granted.  It was nice to read a book geared towards women, written by a man.  A lot of books geared towards women are written by women who proclaim to know a lot about men, and they may know a wealth of information but there is nothing like the upfront, in your face, hardcore truth of a man’s perspective! 

While reading this book, I found that there are some things that were right on the money, for example, there is a chapter that talks about getting your man to marry you.  Basically, he’s saying it’s nothing wrong to set the course in a relationship, tell him what you expect and stick to it.  Lay it out there on the line that you don’t want to play games and that what you want is a meaningful relationship.  Steve says that you should tell him of your plan:  If it’s two years from now you would like to be married, don’t let him propose and then never set a date and you turn out engaged for 5-10yrs, knowing full well in his mind he never intends to marry you.  The engagement was just to keep your mouth shut and buy him some more time! 

This is great  info!  Why is it that we have a hard time telling a man what we expect? I’m all about setting the correct expectations.  I try to do it everyday in my work life so.  So why when it comes to our personal lives and our hearts, do we get “scared” when it’s time to tell a man how we feel and what we expect?

IT’S BECAUSE WE’RE SCARED THAT WE’RE GOING TO SCARE HIM AWAY!!!

That’s such a poor excuse for not being the driver to our own destiny.  If by telling a man what you expect scares him away, then he wasn’t the man for you and at least you didn’t waste your time.  Why be concerned with a man who wasn’t for you in the first place? If he leaves because he wants to play, let him.  You don’t want him.  You want the man who is after what you are after, and I do believe that they are out there.  We just probably aren’t giving them the time of day, because we’re too stuck on the ones who aren’t even worth it!

From this book, Steve has reminded me that a man’s driving goal when, they find the right woman, is to be her problem solver.  If we have a problem and take it to our man, if he cares he’ll try to figure out a solution.  If we don’t have money to cover all of this months bills, if he cares, he’ll try his best to give you what he has, even if that means he’s broke.  If we have car trouble he’ll try his best to fix it, find someone to fix it or if he doesn’t have the means at least he’ll use his car to take you where ever you need. 

I’ve also learned that the way men were raised, which is to be a provider and a protector, plays a very important role in how they interact with women as adults.  A man is taught to have a job and keep one so that he can one day support his family.  Until a man finds his career (no matter what that career choice is) he can’t focus on a serious relationship.  If your man hasn’t found himself then you have to go on and allow that man to find himself so that he can be happy with himself most importantly and then find happiness in you.  When he doesn’t have all of that in place, he can’t really focus on a life with you, because how will he support you? (that very question will weigh heavily on his mind until he’s found a way).

Basically, this book is a plain spoken, well put together truths of the male psyche .  If you are unsure about someone that you’re dating. Read the book.  I’m sure it’ll remind you of some things that you already know…

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